Headed to Amsterdam? Save yourself from becoming a tourist cliche – unless you’re on a stag night, when you’re doomed – by avoiding these six things only tourists do in Amsterdam.

Eat on Damrak

Food in Amsterdam is seriously underrated – probably because too many people eat at the tourist joints on Damrak. Try Loetje for great steaks and frites instead, travel to colonial-era Indonesia for a rijstaffel at Blauw, or go Dutch at Brasserie Keyzer instead.

Ride a Beer Bike

Wildly popular with a certain type of British tourist, the beer bike is a noxious contraption that puts the pub crawl on wheels. Yes, it’s a mobile bar table – steered by a sober dude who likely needs a couple of stiff genevers to recover at the end – equipped with bar stools, 20 litres of beer – or 16 bottles of what’s ominously described as ‘bubbly’ – that wobbles around the city’s canals.

Go to a Coffee House

Cannabis may be less harmful than sugar – depending whether you’re in the habit of mixing sugar with tobacco – and it’s famously almost legal in Amsterdam, but Dutch people don’t go to coffee shops to smoke.

Visit the Red Light District

It’s possible that locals do actually visit the Red Light District for purposes of relief, but it’s honestly more of a tourist theme park – and, further, the authorities are endeavouring to clean it up. Still, if your idea of a great evening out involves watching women spit fruit out of their vaginas, you’re less likely to get taken for a ride in Amsterdam than other Red Light Districts around the world.

Take a Photo in Front of the ‘I Amsterdam’ Sign

Now, it’s true that few can resist taking a photo of themselves holding up the Leaning Tower of Pisa. It’s also true that the Hollywood sign, a cultural icon, is hard to resist. But, really, do you honestly need to break out the selfie stick for a shot with a sign created as a branding exercise this century?

Image credit: Aura of Night by Shane Gorski on Flickr’s Creative Commons.